A Reflection On 2020

Reflection 

Well what a year!? It’s safe to say that 2020 has not been the year that any of us had planned. Reflecting on early 2020, for most people, the year began well. People were feeling good about life and were excited by a new year ahead, full of promise. In January, most people started their new year’s resolutions in the hope of living happier and healthier lives.

Then COVID-19 hit, and for some, it’s all been a bit of a blur since. This year could even be described as a foggy blur and, sadly for some, it’s been a nightmare due to the impact on their  health, family, friends, career, finances and colleagues.

Some people are disappointed because they didn’t achieve their goals; they may have felt their plans were derailed by the events that have taken place. We’ve moved into crisis, lockdowns, not quite lockdowns, confusion over the rules, prospects of opening, and then more confusion.

I’ve heard others describe the year as being a great gift, a time of great learning and an opportunity to reset and build resilience. A time when we can enjoy the things that we often take for granted or are usually too busy to enjoy. And some people have taken up new hobbies and interests with their increased free time, which has led to them doing more in their lives.

I’ve also heard people saying that “this year is basically a write-off”. The year we won’t count. The one we will try to forget. Maybe even hibernating until we are ready to start again and pretend like it never happened.

My belief is that 2020 shouldn’t be the year we write-off, as its lessons are too important. Whilst it’s been filled with uncertainties and hardships for many, it has brought to light some vital life lessons, including some positive and powerful revelations.

Let’s face it, it’s been a personal journey and one we will remember for years to come. 2020 is a year that will stay firmly etched into our memory long after midnight on 31 December 2020, and so it should. So you might be thinking that with the year being a blur, or not what you planned it to be, or as your goals were derailed, there isn’t much point in doing any reflection, especially if you can barely remember the year.

But the thing is, self-reflection is such a powerful tool for so many reasons.

What is the importance of self- reflection?

It is time to ask yourself some tough questions and this is an important part of growing as a person. I don’t like to spend too much time looking back into the past, as it’s always important to be both in the present moment, as well as looking towards the future.

However, it’s just as important to take a brief moment, whether this is at the end of the day, month or year, to reflect on our actions, take note and be better prepared for the future.

Many people go blindly through their lives, not thinking about what they are doing. This is a recipe for poor habits that don’t serve us and end in failure. These people may be putting out negativity and not even realise they are doing it. And then they wonder why all these bad things happen to them. Well, because they are not practicing self-reflection, they are in fact not noticing this because of their actions.

On the other hand, you may be doing something right and benefit, but you will never realise what exactly it was that you did. So, you never get the chance to repeat it again, and experience the continued success of your actions.

Practising self-reflection will allow you to get a good idea of your progress and actions in your life, in all areas of your life, and to then finely tune how you do things.

Let’s take this deeper

You probably look in the mirror most days and you’re as familiar with your appearance as almost any other sight. But how often do you look inward to become more familiar with your inner self?

Self-reflection, which is also called introspection, is a way to observe and analyse oneself in order to grow as a person. Self-reflection is a process by which you grow your understanding of who you are, what your values are, and why you think and act the way you do. This allows you to bring your life into alignment with who and what you wish to be.

This growth is the reason why it’s important for you to spend the time in reflection. By really understanding who you are now and who you would like to become, you will identify the steps needed to take you on that journey.

“The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination. Until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.”

Iyanla Vanzant

By reflecting upon how you behave, the thoughts that enter your mind when you respond to events in the world around you, allows you to see what you need to work on.

Looking back, think about a time when maybe you were perhaps a bit short and irritable with a loved one, a friend or a work colleague. By reflecting on this event, you might come to realise that this is not how you wish it had played out. You can then look to address that behaviour in the future and maybe even apologise to your loved one, friend or colleague, if you were rude or unkind.

In reality, self-reflection is a way to make loads of small corrections to move away from less desirable thoughts and behaviours. Instead, you can move toward those that will promote a greater sense of wellbeing for yourself.

What are the benefits of self-reflection?

Self-reflection can provide you with a sense of achievement and keep you motivated in your quest to better yourself, in whichever way that looks like for you.

It will also help to:

• Improve your relationships – any time you are faced with a new relationship or even a conflict, self-reflection can help. And by reflecting on how you treat others and the thoughts you may have about them, you can make changes that lead to more harmonious relationships.
• Gain greater clarity in your thoughts – introspection provides an opportunity to think about something in isolation from the thing itself. Instead of your mind being clouded by the emotions you experience when interacting with the thing in question, you can view it in a more rational sense.
• Give you a greater sense of self – allowing you to sit alone with yourself, which many people rarely get the chance to do. You get to silence the outside noise and listen to what YOU want. What your energy levels are, your health status, your passions, everything. Truly knowing one’s self gives you a lot of power and a sense of calmness when tackling everyday life.
• Improve your decision making – when it comes to the more important decisions in life, a little personal reflection is invaluable. It comes back to having clarity of thought and awareness of your true values. You will find that your ability to make decisions will simplify, and you will make decisions without hesitation; this can be very powerful in your life.
• Enjoy better sleep – when you spend a little time each day looking back upon events and how you responded to them, it can bring closure to any unresolved feelings. This can help you to not only fall asleep quicker but to have more restful nights’ sleep in general.
• Reduce stress and anxiety – one of the key outcomes of self-reflection and knowing yourself more intimately is that you become more confident in yourself and your actions. You find more certainty in this uncertain world because you are grounded in your sense of self. With greater certainty comes less stress and anxiety. You worry less about the ‘what ifs’ and focus more on the things you can do to best align your actions. And you worry less about what other people might think about you and your choices, because you know that you are doing what’s right for you.

If you are ready to take yourself into self-reflection, use these Golden Nuggets to help you get into this space and benefit from this practice:

Top Tip

Schedule time in your diary to do this; I practice self-reflection weekly, monthly, quarterly and annually. Taking the helicopter view at these times can give you different answers and help you take a strategic and tactical view of your life, milestones and goals. Here are some questions to get you started:

• Why do I act the way I do?
• Why do I think the way I do?
• What habits did I achieve this day, week, month, quarter, year?
• What could I improve on?
• What could I have done differently?
• How do I feel overall today, this week, this month, this quarter, this year?

You can, of course, reflect on your goals if you set them for yourself. Analyse where you did well, where you need to improve, and what you need to focus on next.

Top Tip

I tend to take a good walk in nature for at least 30 minutes to an hour. I then either practice the self-reflection whilst in nature, or I feel more refreshed and ready to set about it when I return home. By doing this, you give yourself the opportunity to listen to your thoughts, feelings and go deep.

Top Tip

Set a timer for your self-reflection practice. I tend to keep them short for daily and weekly ones, and much longer for the monthly, quarterly and annual sessions:

• Write down everything that comes to mind.
• Notice any patterns?
• What thoughts are important and which are fleeting?

Once you have written everything down, take a break before you go back and reflect and start analysing. It’s good to break your state of mind by having a stretch or making a drink. This enables you to see the events and actions from a different perspective, away from where they were originally created.

So, let’s summarise those Golden Nuggets again:

1. Hone in on the important questions
2. Take a walk in nature
3. Write and reflect

Talk it out

It may seem like a simple solution but talking with a trusted friend or family member can really help, if you are struggling to do this on your own. And if you feel that you need to talk to someone who will listen to you without judging, criticising, and who’s focussed on you, consider coaching to help you figure it all out. This can help you to find ways to overcome events, emotions, habits and behaviours from the past that are stopping you from moving into the future. Having professional support from a coach will help you change long-established thinking and behaviour patterns, and can be tremendously helpful. Sometimes asking for help can be the most hopeful and powerful step you can take to live a happier, healthier and fulfilled life.

If you have found this useful, then please share this with anyone you know who would also benefit to help them along their journey in life.

Thank you for joining me and I look forward to seeing you again next week for Pura Vida Your Life Happenings for insight, inspiration and more golden nuggets to help you live a happier and fulfilled life.

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Until next time – Pura Vida!