Are you holding back? Find your authenticity
Our relationships are based all around communication; what we communicate, how we communicate and what we hold back from communicating to others. Are you holding back? If so, I invite you to find your authenticity. The first step is to create authenticity in your relationships to own who you are, what you are saying, and to express your true feelings.
I encourage you to strive towards authenticity in your communication, which will in turn create openness and vulnerability, and this will deepen your relationships. If this fills you with horror, then this is something that you need to work on.
How to find your authenticity
Do a self-inventory of the things that make you ‘you’. What are your convictions? Your morals, your passions? What matters to you in life? If someone were to say to you: “Tell me a little bit about yourself,” would you limit your response to listing your name, age, and job title? Are these the things that make you YOU? Your identity? I would say that this doesn’t define you as your true self. In this professional and busy world, at times we don’t have the opportunity to really connect. When getting to know someone, it’s very important to ask questions and share information that truly matters.
What barriers are blocking you from sharing your true self? Are you struggling with unequal power dynamics or generational age gaps? Are you afraid to say something that someone will not agree with, leaving you feeling misunderstood or that your ideas are not respected or worthy?
Authenticity and vulnerability go hand in hand. To express your ideas and needs honestly, you have to expose yourself, which in turn carries the risk of getting hurt. In Brene Brown’s words, “vulnerability takes courage.”
You need to be vulnerable with yourself and others
Vulnerability is something very gentle and very strong at the same time. It is a gift to have people in life that draw out your vulnerability. The reason why so many people struggle with vulnerability is because they have tried opening up in the past but were shut down. If that is the case with you, then think about addressing the boundaries you have with people. Any given relationship needs to be a safe space first, before any vulnerability can take place.
Being authentically you means presenting yourself as you really are. The positive effects of being you is to feel like you are fully alive and present. Yet this requires vulnerability. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you allow for your emotions to surface, and you process them instead of letting them pile up internally without processing them. Often, people who don’t process emotions shut down and become depressed. Your emotions matter and they are real. A good place to start processing emotions in a safe place is through coaching.
What I have noticed from my own experiences, and through coaching others, is that people report having relationships in their life where they cannot speak their mind or be themselves. This can really hurt them in the long run. These relationships may be with a friend, a relative or a significant other. The common theme is that the communication seems one-sided, and the person just tolerates whatever the other one is communicating without being able to provide honest feedback. Over time, the person who is not able to communicate their thoughts and feelings becomes sad, depressed or anxious about their situation and tries to look for a way out. However, it becomes very difficult to change unhealthy communication patterns that have lasted for many years.
I invite you to take small steps with me this month, with tiny love challenges, focusing on Authenticity and Vulnerability, which will deepen the love you have for yourself, others and the world around you. We are all looking for more in our lives and these tiny daily steps will help you develop closer bonds in relationships and let go of any anger and bitterness. Learn how to better understand yourself and your loved ones, along with turning strangers into friends.
There is strength in giving…
Physical affection, when offered earnestly, is a deep, raw form of expression. It is simply an exchange of energy – there is nothing to hide behind.
I used to be afraid that by giving my love to others in this purest way, I’d be exposed. People would access the deepest parts of me and see my vulnerability and they’d realise how desperately I needed love. But what I hadn’t realised is that by allowing myself to give love and show my vulnerability, I was actually demonstrating my inner strength.
In my embrace with others, my message didn’t have to be “I need love – please give it to me”. Instead, it could be “Here I stand, just as I am, full of love, seeking to join my love with yours.” This change of intention is very healing, nourishing and empowering. When we hold each other in an embrace, giving and receiving connects us to each other at a soul level, in a way that mere words cannot.
Opening yourself up and asking for love can feel incredibly scary. But when you come from a place of strength and self-love knowing that you deserve what you are asking for; a hug can be a transformative exchange of two souls. You will both be at your most open and vulnerable and yet so very strong.
Here’s a challenge for you today, should you choose to accept it:
Golden Gifts
Challenge
Start a conversation with a stranger.
Deeper Wisdom
Comment on something about your shared experience, such as waiting in line or riding the train. Offer them a complement or ask a question about something you notice about them, the book or paper they are reading, where they are off to next… Or even the weather, you know how we like to talk about the weather!
For Reflection
- How often do you start a conversation with a stranger?
- How do you usually respond when a stranger starts a conversation with you?
- Have you ever formed a friendship with someone who wasn’t at some point a stranger?
How did it go?
What did you gain or learn through the experience of connecting with someone new?
Creating awareness is the first step to solving the problem.
For the month of March, I will share a series of daily little love challenges like this, with an opportunity for reflection and learnings. Enjoy the growth and transformation this brings!
I know how difficult it is to make changes or even consider making changes when you’re feeling anxious, depressed, burnt out and exhausted. This is where I can help, with my one-to-one coaching, I help women awaken their limitless higher potential, igniting their powerhouse, so they can move forward with divine soul-driven purpose.
To find out more, book a call with me: https://puravidayourlife.kartra.com/calendar/ThePuraVidaWayEnquiry
I help men and women replace fear with faith, replace weakness with strength, and replace internal struggle with confidence to effectively claim their life back in just 3 months. So, they can ‘be more’, ‘do more’, and ‘have more’, fully embodying their inner warrior / warrioress to breakthrough all that holds them back.
Are you ready to take your first step towards a happier, healthier, fulfilled and more conscious life?
Thank you for joining me and I look forward to seeing you again next week for Pura Vida Your Life Happenings for insight, inspiration and more Golden Gifts and Deeper Wisdom to help you live a happier, healthier and more conscious life.
I invite you to come on a journey of empowerment with me – sign up to Discoveries to start taking steps to improve your life!
Pura Vida Your Life – it all starts with you 🧡💙💛
Until next time – Pura Vida!