Worrying
Are You Worrying Too Much?
Do you worry too much? Is your life plagued by constant worrying and your head full of anxious thoughts? Let’s face it, everyone worries to some degree. We all have doubts and anxieties; these are a normal part of life. People worry about unpaid bills or important meetings. But it’s when the worry escalates and becomes excessive to a point of persistent and uncontrollable worry; this is when worrying becomes too much. When you go beyond a normal level of worry, this can have a negative impact on people and their lives.
I have met people who worry every day, about the ‘what ifs’ and develop worst-case scenarios in their imagination and catastrophise events that haven’t even happened. They can’t seem to get the anxious thoughts out of their head, and this interferes with their everyday life.
If you’re expecting the worst to happen, constantly worrying and living your life from a negative mindset, then this can take its toll on your emotional and physical health. When this happens, you can become emotionally drained, you feel restless, nervous and jumpy. You could experience insomnia, headaches, stomach problems and muscle tension, which can make it very difficult for you to concentrate on even the smallest and simplest of tasks as you go about your day.
Too much worrying can also affect the people closest to you, as you may take your negative feelings out on them. People often self-medicate with alcohol and drugs, or they may use screens to zone out and be a distraction to their worry and anxiety. You see, excessive worry can colour your whole life.
How to stop worrying
If you’re constantly worrying, this can take a heavy toll on you. It might keep you up at night which then makes you tense and on edge during the day, affecting your family, your friends, your work and all areas of your life. Even though you hate feeling this way, it can be so very difficult to just stop it. Quite often, your anxious thoughts are fuelled by your beliefs that you hold about worrying. And these beliefs can be both negative and positive.
When it comes to Negative beliefs about worry
You may have a belief that your worrying is harmful and it’s driving you crazy and affecting your health. Or you may worry that you will lose control, due to the amount you are worrying, and it will take over your life. Having negative beliefs or worrying about worrying, only adds further to your anxiety and continues your cycle of worry.
When it comes to Positive beliefs about worry
Holding positive beliefs about worry can also be damaging, as you may believe that worrying helps you to avoid bad things from happening; preventing problems and preparing you for the worst. Some people tell themselves that if they keep worrying about a problem, then they will eventually figure it out. Some people think that worrying is the only responsible thing to do and to not overlook something. If you have a belief that your worrying serves a positive purpose, then it’s really hard to break this habit. Once you come to the realisation that ‘worrying’ is the problem and not the solution, you can then regain control over your worrying mind.
A reason to stop worrying
Today, more than ever, it seems there are valid reasons to worry. This may include the escalating costs of everyday life, insecurity in the workforce, security of the country, and the increasing crime rate. However, there are many situations where there’s no logical reason to worry, and this causes a significant amount of anxiety.
Worriers miss out on the greatest part of their life, and actually living their life, which is a real shame. They let themselves become overwhelmed by things that haven’t even happened. It usually begins with the first “what if this happens” which develops into another worry. This worry again leads to the same question, and so the cycle goes on and on. Worriers are so caught up in visualising and worrying about the future, they can’t enjoy their current lives. It is my belief that life is a gift – a beautiful gift – full of opportunities, even with the darkness. You see, there has to be darkness for the light to shine through.
Recognise that the real truth lies in the present so live in the moment. Life is so short and shouldn’t be wasted on worrying about what may or may not happen tomorrow or the next day. Always focus on today and let tomorrow take care of itself; do whatever it is you love the most and watch your worries disappear.
There are so many things contributing to what happens in life; it’s never realistic to think you can either predict or control the future. It’s impossible to have complete control of one’s life when it’s so intermingled with the outside world. No one has the power to forecast the future or to control it.
If you are feeling worried, use these Golden Nuggets to help calm your worrying mind and ease your anxiety:
Golden Nuggets
1. Challenge Your Thoughts
If you are plagued by worry and anxious thoughts, you may be looking at the world in ways that make it seem more threatening than it actually is. You may be building the problem up, overestimating the possibility that things will turn out badly, jumping to worst-case scenarios and treating your anxious thoughts as facts. You may also be doing yourself a dis-service by discrediting you own ability to handle life’s problems; making the assumption that you will fall apart at the first hurdle.
Top Tip
During a time when you are experiencing worry, challenge your negative thoughts by asking yourself:
- What is the evidence to support whether the thought is true or not true?
- Can you look at the situation in a more positive and realistic way?
- What is the probability that what you fear will actually happen? And, if the probabilities are low, what could be some of the more likely outcomes?
- Is your thought helpful?
- How will worrying about it help you and how will it hurt you?
- What would you say to your friend if they had this worry?
2. Create a strategic time to worry
If worry and anxiety are dominating your thoughts, it can be tough to have a productive day because you will be distracted from your daily life, family, friends, work and routine tasks. This is where creating a strategy of postponing worry can be really helpful. Give yourself permission to have the thought but put off dwelling on it until later – this doesn’t get rid of it, but helps you manage it better.
Top Tip
Create a strategic time to worry; decide on a time and place for worrying, do it the same time every day and early enough that it won’t create anxiety before you go to bed. You could give yourself as little as 20 or 30 minutes. During this time, give yourself permission to worry about whatever is on your mind. Make a promise to yourself that the rest of your day is worry free.
3. Break the worry cycle
If you are always worrying, your negative thoughts are on endless repeat, going round and round in your head. This can lead to you feeling like you are spiralling out of control, going mad or on the brink of burnout. There are steps you can take to interrupt all of those worrying and anxious thoughts, and to give you a break from all that relentless worry. Look at your self-care routines and habits, are you invested in your health and wellbeing?
Top Tip
Be Active – get up and get moving! Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment because it releases endorphins, which are vital to relieve tension and stress. They will boost your energy and enhance your sense of wellbeing.
Whilst you are doing the exercise, really tune into it, really connect with the activity you are doing. Focus on how your body feels as you move; this can interrupt the constant flow of worries running through your head. Pay attention to the sensation of your feet hitting the ground as you walk, run or dance. Notice your breathing, and if you’re outside, the feeling of the sun and wind on your skin. Be in the moment.
So, let’s summarise those Golden Nuggets again:
- Challenge your thoughts
- Create a strategic time to worry
- Break the worry cycle
Talk about your worries
It may seem like a simple solution but talking with a trusted friend or family member can really help. And if you feel that you need to talk to someone who will listen to you in a focused way, without judging or criticising, then consider coaching. Working with a coach will help you figure out why you are so worried and anxious, and you will find ways to overcome your constant worrying. Having professional support can be tremendously helpful in changing long-established thinking patterns. Sometimes asking for help can be the most hopeful and powerful step you can take to live a happier, healthier and fulfilled life.
If you have found this useful, then please share this with anyone you know who would also benefit to help them along their journey in life.
Thank you for joining me and I look forward to seeing you again next week for Pura Vida Your Life Happenings for insight, inspiration and more golden nuggets to help you live a happier and fulfilled life.
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