Family Relationships

How To Build Strong Family Relationships

Family Relationships

There’s nothing like family. The people we’re related to by blood and marriage are expected to be our closest allies, our greatest sources of love and support. So, learning how to build and maintain strong family relationships is a vital way to preserve our wellbeing. Too often, however, our interactions with family are filled with misunderstanding and resentment, bickering and badgering. Those we should know and be known by best, end up feeling like adversaries or strangers.

Family is where our first and strongest emotional memories are made, and that’s where they keep appearing. And this is why emotional intelligence succeeds where other efforts at family harmony fail. Active awareness and empathy, the ability to be aware, accepting, and permanently attuned to ourselves and others, tells us how to respond to one another’s needs.

Emotional intelligence is incredibly powerful within your family because it puts you in control of your relationships with parents and children, siblings, in-laws and extended family. When you know how you feel, you can’t be manipulated by other’s emotions; nor can you blame family conflict on everyone else. Most of the techniques for improving family relationships are, therefore, centred on communicating your feelings to those you care about because close relationships are centred around feeling.

Without this emotional intimacy, family contact becomes a burden; no one is comfortable spending that much time with a stranger. If you want your family members to know and accept each other lovingly, you have to begin with your own emotional honesty and openness.

Let’s Explore Emotional Intelligence

We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we’re in, they always seem to know just what to say and how to say it, so we’re not offended or upset. They’re caring and considerate, and even if we don’t find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

We probably also know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don’t get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They’re excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they’re usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance.

People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence. They know themselves very well, and they’re also able to sense the emotional needs of others. Would you like to be more like this?

So, what exactly is emotional intelligence, and what can you do to improve yours?

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

We all have different personalities, different wants and needs, and different ways of showing our emotions. It takes tact and cleverness to navigate through this, especially if we hope to succeed in life. This is where emotional intelligence becomes important.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise your emotions, understand what they’re telling you, and realise how your emotions affect people around you. It also involves your perception of others: when you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively.

People with high emotional intelligence are usually successful in most things they do. Why? Because they’re the ones that others want on their team. When people with high emotional intelligence send an email, it gets answered. When they need help, they get it. Because they make others feel good, they go through life much more easily than people who are easily angered or upset.

The Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

  1. Self-Awareness – People with high emotional intelligence are usually very self-aware. They understand their emotions, and because of this, they don’t let their feelings rule them.
  2. Empathy – This is perhaps the second-most important element of emotional intelligence. Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you. People with empathy are good at recognising the feelings of others, even when those feelings may not be obvious.
  3. Self-Regulation – This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don’t allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don’t make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act.
  4. Motivation – People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are usually motivated. They’re willing to defer immediate results for long-term success.
  5. Social Skills – It’s usually easy to talk to and like people with good social skills; another sign of high emotional intelligence. Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own success first, they help others develop and shine. 

Emotional intelligence is an awareness of your actions and feelings and how they affect those around you. It also means that you value others, listen to their wants and needs, and are able to empathise or identify with them on many different levels. Although “regular” intelligence is important to success in life, emotional intelligence is key to relating well to others and achieving your goals.

Here are my 3 Golden Nuggets for building strong and healthy relationships with your family, bringing them closer together:

Golden Nuggets

1. Take care of your health if you hope to take care of anyone else

The more demanding of your time your family is, the more you need to fit in exercise.

Top Tip

Perhaps you and your family can seek out ways to exercise together.

2. Listen if you expect to be heard

Lack of communication is the loudest complaint in most families. The answer to “Why won’t they listen to me?” may be simply “You’re not listening to them.”

Top Tip

This can take some practice – look at the person who is speaking and actively engage eye contact with them. Avoid talking over the other person, allow them to finish and actively listen, rather than starting to string together your response in your head before they have finished.

3. Be Generous in expressing love

Everyone in a family (especially young children) needs the emotional reassurance of loving words, gestures, and looks. Those who demand the least emotional attention may need it the most.

Top Tip

Be conscious in the time you have with your family, so you can really express your love. Avoid the distractions of modern technology and screens. Maybe even turn them off so you can give love wholly to improve your relationships.

So, let’s summarise those Golden Nuggets again:

  1. Take care of your health if you hope to take care of anyone else
  2. Listen if you expect to be heard
  3. Be generous in expressing love 

Some food for thought and strategies to get started, so now it’s over to you build stronger family relationships so they are deeper and more fulfilling.

If you have found this useful, then please share with anyone you know who would also benefit to help them along their journey in life.

Share the Love Challenge

If you want to ignite the power of love within you, why not join our ‘Pura Vida Your Life Share the Love Challenge’, which started on 1 February – it’s not too late for you to catch up and join in. Just go to my Facebook page – or join the private group. There is no pressure, this is just a bit of fun – we may even start a wave of love and you just might get loved up and blissed out in the process!

Thank you for joining me and I look forward to seeing you again next week for Pura Vida Your Life Happenings for insight, inspiration and more golden nuggets to help you live a happier and fulfilled life.

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