How Do You Gain Strength, Courage and Confidence?
When people ask me how I manage to get through challenges in life, I tell them it’s with strength, courage and confidence. But it wasn’t always like that. I don’t know about you, but I feel there’s some great shifts coming, and this is a great opportunity to invite change in, rather than being afraid of it. I now see change or challenges as an opportunity.
There is a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
I didn’t always know this or feel this. Like most people I used to live in fear until I did the work to grow and evolve. Fear is one of the most powerful emotions, and it has a very strong effect on our body (physical body), emotions (emotional body) and mind (psychological body). Fear is a useful emotion as it protects us from real danger, but more often than not, fear can inhibit us in our daily lives.
When I was young, I had terrible fears of failure when it came to exams and even passing my driving test. I would get myself so wound up that I would feel physically sick and would want to run away, rather than face my fears.
As I got older, there were times when I didn’t want to go to a social event as I was afraid that I would have nothing interesting to talk about. I would dread when the conversation came round to me. Have you ever felt like this?
Don’t get me started when it came to dating! I would go on dates, but I was always wondering the whole time if they like me, if I was good enough, pretty enough, interesting enough, etc, etc. Urgh! I felt so awkward, and instead of having a nice, relaxing time, I would over-analyse everything I said, and everything they said. Sound familiar?
And even throwing myself all in to start Pura Vida Your Life, my coaching and personal development business, I had thoughts driven by fear that maybe I won’t pursue my passion. I was afraid that people would think I’m weird, I laugh at that now! Are you not following your passion and soul-driven purpose because of your fears?
What I have come to realise is that when we hide behind the comfortable cloak of fear, we deny ourselves new heights, new experiences and evolving into our full potential as human beings. In hiding we miss out on so much in this amazing life! Most of us are creatures of comfort and stay within the confines of our safe zone. When you think of it, if it were up to us, would we ever leave the womb?
As with all things natural, there is a time for change. This is evident in mother nature, or as I refer to Pachamama (the Inca goddess), and she shows us that we must go through cycles of change as frequent as the tides change and seasons change. As I have already mentioned in my recent blogs, summer is a powerful time of year, and I feel we are on the crest of a huge wave of change. So, I plan to ride the wave rather than run from it!
If we don’t seize the moment and step into our power as conscious creators, then change will descend upon us; you can’t hide from it. Have you ever felt like your life was or is out of control? Well unless you decide that you are the master of your life, then the likelihood is that changes will be forced upon you; a lover may leave, a job may end, or you may succumb to illness. These natural occurrences serve to push us through an evolution to begin anew, and this happens if we choose not to make these changes initially for ourselves.
I have been there, in relationships that should’ve ended a long time before they did. And instead of me taking action, my then partner would have an affair, which was more painful than a breakup would’ve been months or years earlier.
I was in a job that I wasn’t happy in. Instead of me deciding it was time to leave, I went through a painful process, whereby I became ill through the stress of the experience. When I look back now, I think why I didn’t leave sooner?
And with my health – that came to an all-time low, until I finally made a decision to live a healthier life and take full responsibility for making lifestyle changes.
Looking back on life I’ve learnt so much and I invite you to ask yourself, “why wait for life to unexpectedly dictate?” Follow your heart and make the move you’ve been afraid to make. Now is the time. Go back to learn at college, switch careers, do that project you’ve been talking about for years, make that leap of faith that you’ve been challenged to make.
Keep these in the forefront of your mind:
• Fear is a lack of faith
• Change is inevitable
• Growth comes from change
• Confidence arises from growth and sticks by your side, fostering faith
Replace your fear with faith, replace your weakness with strength, and replace your internal struggle with confidence. Take your life back and own your thoughts, emotions and actions to live a full, happy, healthy and fulfilled life.
A great way to get started is with my 3 Golden Nuggets to help you to become stronger, more courageous, and more confident in life.
Golden Nuggets
1. Stop Deferring on Life
What have you been putting off out of fear? Spend some time journaling this. It might be what you thought you are putting off is actually being masked by something else. You need to go deeper on this and stop playing it safe.
Top Tip
Are you avoiding something because you’re predicting a negative outcome, either that someone will react badly, you will struggle, or that it won’t be a smooth path?
Firstly, notice that you’re making a negative prediction, and ask yourself if that negative outcome is the only one possible outcome. Think of the different outcomes: the worst, the best, the realistic.
2. Have Faith
What challenge are you currently facing that requires you to have more faith? Think of a time in the past when you had to develop more faith, and think back to how that made you feel and think differently.
Top Tip
Live with grace instead of entitlement. Be patient, be gracious, help others and ask for help when you need it. And depend on yourself.
3. Face the Fear
What steps can you take toward your fear that will bring you face to face with it? If you face your fear, then you can overcome it. Think of a time in the past when you faced a fear, what strategy did you use? Not the one where you run away!
Top Tip
Keep in mind that just because something feels scary, it doesn’t mean it’s actually risky. Educate yourself about the facts and the risks you actually face by doing the things that scare you. And remember, if it doesn’t scare you, then you are not growing.
So, let’s summarise those Golden Nuggets again:
1. Stop deferring on life
2. Have faith
3. Face the fear
Surround yourself with friends and family that celebrate YOU and believe in YOU. Share their belief in yourself. And in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt – Do what you think you cannot do.
Thank you for joining me and I look forward to seeing you again next week for Pura Vida Your Life Happenings for insight, inspiration and more Golden Nuggets to help you live a happier and fulfilled life.
I invite you to come on a journey of empowerment with me – sign up to Discoveries to start taking steps to improve your life!
Pura Vida Your Life – it all starts with you 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
Until next time – Pura Vida!