How I Went from Emptiness & Unhappiness To Heal & Live A Better Life

EMPTINESS & UNHAPPINESS

In last week’s Pura Vida Your Life Happenings and blog, I shared the definition of Spirituality. Hopefully, this has served you greatly to gain a greater sense of knowing who you are to create a deeper connection and balance within your spiritual body. In this blog, I will share my own story and path along a spiritual journey. You’ll discover how I went from emptiness and unhappiness to heal and live a better life, and be in service to self and others.

Firstly, I want to say that your journey is not the same as mine. My journey is not yours, but if you meet me on a certain path, may we encourage each other.

As I mentioned last time, Spirituality is a broad concept with room for many perspectives. In general, it includes a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, and it typically involves a search for meaning in life. As such, it is a universal human experience, something that touches us all. People may describe a spiritual experience as sacred or transcendent, or simply a deep sense of aliveness and interconnectedness.

So, let’s go back to when I was a child. I wasn’t christened and I’ve not been brought up in any context of spirituality or religion within my family. As a child I developed a curiosity and attended Sunday School and some churches with friends who either followed the Methodist, Christianity or Church of England religious paths. I enjoyed the stories and the community, but it didn’t really connect with me. At school we had morning assembly every day, where we sang hymns and said the Lord’s Prayer, but I didn’t really know why.

As I grew the curiosity waned but I learnt to appreciate the different approaches to religion, as my friendships grew in my teenage years to those with religious beliefs in Hinduism, Muslim and Sikhism. And I ended up singing in a Church of England choir and sang at weddings and religious events. I wasn’t sure if I believed in god or not, I kind of hoped there was something more but didn’t explore it.

As I became an adult, the appreciation for other religious cultures stayed, but I no longer had a close relationship with it. I neither strongly believed or didn’t believe; I felt that it did not matter to me or my life.

In my 30’s I began to take up yoga and meditation and this opened my curiosity up to the belief systems surrounding these practices in a traditional sense, which included Buddhism. But I guess I still thought of it in a religious sense; that god was external, and you went to a place of worship to worship of such a god. To be honest I thought religion and spirituality were the same thing and I guess for some they are – like I said, we are all on our own path.

Looking back, I think that my 30’s and into my 40’s was the start of a decline in what life was about. My career and finances grew, and material effects appeared important to me – the big job, amazing career, the house, the holidays, the new car were all signs of my success, right? And would make me extremely happy, right?

No. A void had created inside of me and it got bigger and bigger and all the more consuming, there was a deep well of emptiness and unhappiness inside of me. And no matter what I did, I could not create any lasting joy, happiness and contentment. You see, I know now that I was looking in the wrong place. I was looking outside of me through external gratification of experiences and material things. It got to a point where I just thought this is how life is, some people are happy and others aren’t, and for me it was the latter. I felt I just had to suck it up and get on with it.

In my mid 40’s I started on a journey of personal development and this helped me to gain an understanding or the world around me, my beliefs, values, and relationships. But still a piece of the puzzle was missing. I knew there was more to life than this and life was about thriving and not just surviving and existing as I was. I was just going through the motions and carrying the heavy weight of life’s experiences around with me, where I was holding onto anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt all with a victim consciousness mindset.

In my late 40’s I started to open up to spirituality. I came to learn that spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or sense or belief that there’s something greater than myself, and something more to being human than the sensory experience. I explored different types of yoga and became intrigued by Kundalini Yoga. I underwent some Pranic Healing and read and researched all types of holistic practices, along with this notion or possibility that there’s  a connectedness to something more, something greater than ourselves.

Someone I respected at the time, and at a time in my life where I was feeling very low and vulnerable, told me to stop the spiritual practices I was exploring. He said they would not help me in my depths of unhappiness, emptiness, loneliness and my unfulfilled life. Stupidly, I followed his advice, and as a result, my life seemed to spiral further out of control and into a deeper darker hole. My health suffered, my relationships suffered, my business suffered, my finances suffered. Everything was out of alignment and I papered over the cracks, just thinking this is how life is. I was full of sadness and despair and battled with anxiety and depression to the point of wanting out.

Then, after years of personal challenges and adverse experiences, thousands of pounds of personal development and soul searching, I flew to Costa Rica in March 2020, and checked into a life-changing retreat. This experience was like no other. You may want to read more about this in The Week I Healed & Started to Create a Life I Love.

At Rythmia, Life Advancement Centre. I experienced a programme that fused together ancient wisdom and modern techniques for healing and creating a life you love. Here I did deep transformative work on myself and for the first time ever in my life, I really connected with myself, with humankind and with nature. I experienced transcendence and this was the point of realisation that life was more than survival and existence. And I gained a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, to spirit and my higher self.

And that my life had meaning, I had a purpose, I am healing on such a deep level and this helped me to live a better life and to be in service to self and others. This was it! My ‘aha’ moment, as if the sun had shone through the break in the stormy clouds of my life and I knew that my life would never be the same again. It would be greater, magical and more beautiful than I ever allowed it to be in the past.

On returning home from Costa Rica, this is where the integration work really began. You don’t get sprinkled with magic fairy dust in Rythmia and then life is perfect! You must continue to do the work and commit to the great unfolding of life; to feel the pleasure and pain, to see the darkness and the light, and to learn and to grow. To find your purpose, to create your identity that serves you, to live a life of love, contribution and connection. To be in service to self and others or others and self. That is the whole point of this human existence/experience, but to do it with grace and from your soul and heart centred with love.  It is my belief that we are all on the path of spiritual ascension, if we choose to walk it.

I went on a quest to find myself, heal and to live a better life and to be in service to self and others. The work continues today, and my spiritual practices are the tools and resources that help me to continue to grow, to navigate this life with love, empathy and grace. I spent 51 years of my life fighting this life, fighting me and everyone and everything around me. And now I am free, I’m at peace, I’m walking the path of life calmly and in full gratitude for the gifts that are received in every magical moment. The gifts were always there, I just didn’t see them before.

I believe that I am connected to source and all creation and source/god is inside of all of us. The happiness, contentment, joy and peace I was seeking external to me, was within me all the time, I was just looking in the wrong places. The irony of it! But I had to go on this spiritual journey to find this truth.

My spiritual practices and rituals have widened and deepened over the past 12 months to support my onward spiritual path. Like I said at the beginning, your journey is not the same as mine, and my journey is not yours, but if you meet me on a certain path, may we encourage each other.

And I get great comfort in knowing that I am on the right path for me, I don’t fear judgment from others. Afterall they are not walking life in my shoes. I am grateful for the healing; I am truly living a better life and I’m totally in service to others and all life.

Are you open to finding real meaning in your life, to find your identity, your purpose and direction in life? You could start with my 3 Golden Nuggets to help you lead a happier, healthier and fulfilled life with a greater sense of balance and connection.

Top Tip

Do this every day, even on days when you don’t feel like it; those are the days when you need to do it the most.

Top Tip

A 30-second morning contemplation with gratitude is a great way to develop a habit of daily gratitude. When you first wake up each morning, before you do anything, do this morning contemplation for at least 30 seconds:

• Remind yourself how lucky you are.
• Don’t wait to see how you feel that morning, because you’re not going to feel good, you’re going to feel groggy and tired!
• Just decide that, “I’m going to give it everything I’ve got, to make this day a beautiful day. I’m going to be kind to everyone I meet. I’m going to be gentle and sweet to everyone, even if they hate me. I love my life and I look forward to today.”

Every day, before you get out of bed, remind yourself like this. It’s a great way to start the day, to protect against the ‘weeds’ of negative thoughts.

Top Tip

Ditch the all-or-nothing attitude. You don’t have to spend hours in a gym or force yourself into monotonous or painful activities you hate to experience the physical and emotional benefits of exercise. A little exercise is better than nothing. In fact, adding just modest amounts of physical activity to your weekly routine can have a profound effect on your mental and emotional health.

Making excuses for not exercising? Whether it’s lack of time or energy, or fear of the gym, there are solutions.

If your excuse is “I hate exercising.”

Solution: Many of us feel the same. If sweating in a gym or pounding a treadmill isn’t your idea of a great time, try to find an activity that you do enjoy, such as dancing, or pair physical activity with something more enjoyable. Take a walk at lunchtime through a scenic park, for example, walk, run, or bike with a friend, or listen to your favourite music while you move.

Stop making excuses and just do it!

So, let’s summarise those Golden Nuggets again:

1. Daily Meditation On Twin Hearts
2. The Importance of Gratitude
3. Start Exercising and Stick to it

These are just a few golden nuggets that I believe will serve you greatly and form part of my daily spiritual practices. Picture yourself in the future, living a happier, healthier and fulfilled life. What could be better than that?

Thank you for joining me and I look forward to seeing you again next week for Pura Vida Your Life Happenings for insight, inspiration and more Golden Nuggets to help you live a happier and fulfilled life.

I invite you to come on a journey of empowerment with me – sign up to Discoveries to start taking steps to improve your life!

Or, why not become a Pura Vida Your Life Member to discover an even wider range of inspiring resources and tools?

Pura Vida Your Life – it all starts with you 🧡💙💛

Until next time – Pura Vida!