Why Is It Important To Learn From The Past?
As a year, 2020 has some important life lessons. Don’t forget the past – instead, learn from it. In my last blog, I talked about the importance of reflecting on 2020, along with the benefits of harnessing the tools to practice self-reflection.
There is a general truth in our society that goes something like, “Forget the past, don’t worry about the future, live in the present.” Those who choose to ask the right questions about their past are most prepared to live life to the fullest in the present. So, we should consider the lessons we can learn from 2020 and our past.
Your past is the best teacher you have ever had. You have accomplished so many things and, in each experience, this has taught you something. Some experiences may have had positive outcomes while some may have had negative outcomes. Quite often our lives are moving so fast, we may miss the lessons we need to learn; this is the real magic in our lives, it’s a gift and it’s often overlooked.
Our lives are defined by the choices we made in the past; however, each new day presents an opportunity to become a new person, on a new path destined for our future. People who choose to simply forget the past miss out on achieving their life’s full potential. There are so many valuable lessons to be learned. So, if you took the advice in my last blog, then you will have practiced self-reflection and you are now ready to learn from the lessons so you are not doomed to repeat the past.
What has 2020 taught us?
2020 has turned our lives upside down and changed not just the way we live and work, but also how we think and behave. Every part of the world has been affected, and every aspect of life has been impacted. Our everyday routines were brought to a stop, and any sense of normal life was lost. While we stop and look at the world around us, I cannot help but see what I used to take for granted. The following are some of the life lessons we can take away from this past year:
- Difficult times show us the real face of life and the real face of people.
- Self-care is a priority, not a privilege.
- Time is a limited resource; don’t waste it on people or things that don’t add value to your life.
- Be intentional with everything you do; your future depends on it.
- Happiness is self-created and comes from within; don’t look for happiness outside of yourself.
- Protect your energy, it’s a limited resource that needs topping up.
- You don’t need to be productive all of the time, taking time for yourself is not lazy or selfish.
- Only you know what’s best for you, trust yourself.
- Nothing stays still, change is inevitable.
- Mindfulness is a superpower.
- Don’t take anything for granted, be grateful for what you already have.
- Don’t expect anything and appreciate everything.
How can you learn from your past?
You can use your past experience, and the past experience of others, to become more effective, more productive, and even wiser.
There was a lesson to be learned from my past relationships. That lesson was to trust my intuition. But rather than taking that lesson and letting go of the mistakes that made up my relationships, I held on to the mistakes for years after the relationships ended. I relived the mistakes we both made, the ways we hurt each other, and the eventual impact on other areas of my life over and over.
Once I learned the lessons, and began trusting my intuition, I was able to let go of the mistakes. And the freedom that came from that was incredible. I felt lighter, freer, and more importantly, better prepared for the future.
By letting go of the past and only keeping the lessons I needed to learn from it, I freed myself up for a better future. I put myself in a position to have future relationships that weren’t impacted by past bad relationships.
We all have those events in our pasts. We all have those things that we need to learn from. Some of us struggle to let go of the event and just keep the lesson, though. And when that happens, the past threads its way through the future, weaving old mistakes into new ones and creating yet another situation we’ll need to recover from.
Learning to find the lessons and let go of the rest is absolutely necessary. And it’s easier than you think.
Learning lessons from your past and letting go
If you are ready to take on the learnings from your past, use these Golden Nuggets to help you get into that space and build a better future.
The past is a treasure chest filled with learning opportunities for our present and future, but only if we look inside. Let’s open up that dirty, unassuming, beat-up old chest to find and use the treasure that is inside. You have a past, and all of the events, feelings, emotions and results are sitting in that treasure chest. Sometimes it can be hard to do this, especially if there were some painful experiences you would rather forget. Your future will be helped, if you decide to open it, and explore with vigour and anticipation. The treasure is there, but you must look for it.
Golden Nuggets
1.Release yourself
You need to be able to acknowledge that you don’t have to hold onto the past and all its mistakes. You need to be able to admit that you don’t need to keep punishing yourself for things you did before. You need to be able to accept that letting go of the past doesn’t mean you’ll repeat it.
This openness can be one of the hardest steps, so if it’s a struggle for you, don’t feel bad. It might take some time, but if you stick with it, you’ll get there.
Top Tip
Write down the things that you need to accept and let go of. Then imagine your friend has handed you that piece of paper with those things on. Think of what you would say to them, without judgment and advising them with love and kindness. This helps you to open up and take a different perspective on the things to let go.
2. Find the lesson
One of the simplest but most effective ways to find these lessons is to ask yourself more helpful questions:
- What were the positive and good things that happened?
- What opportunities were created?
- What do I do to make this happen?
- What didn’t turn out well and what could I have done differently?
- What is my biggest lesson from the past that I don’t want to repeat in the future?
Top Tip
Take your time on this; it’s not something to rush, as you may have to dig deep for the lesson to come to you. It’s okay if this takes you a day, or a few days – remember, this is going to help you for the next 365 days ahead of you in 2021.
3. Be at peace
No matter what’s happened, the past can’t be changed. Ruminating on it, wishing it were different, and imagining the different ways something could have happened, are all pointless. They change nothing, they pull you out of the present moment and keep you from looking forward to the future. Instead, it’s time to make peace with the past. Whatever happened, happened. It can’t be changed, but it doesn’t have to be repeated. Accept what happened, whether it was what you did or what someone else did and move forward.
By making peace with what happened, you will allow the lesson to appear. When this lesson comes out, you’re able to ensure that you don’t repeat the past. You’ll recognise the signs of trouble before it happens and be able to make different choices.
Top Tip
Write down all of the things that you are holding onto and, once you are done, either tear it up and throw it away or burn it. This symbolises that it is gone and is no more. You’ve destroyed it from your life.
So, let’s summarise those Golden Nuggets again:
- Release yourself
- Find the lesson
- Be at peace
Work with a coach
Sometimes we get really stuck on letting go of something that’s happened. When this happens, no matter how hard we try on our own, we might never be able to learn the lesson and let go. In these instances, working with a coach can help you.
A coach asks the right questions to help you figure out why you’re stuck and what you need to get unstuck. They can give you tools to deal with what happened before, and to deal with it if it happens again in the future. They can help you to change your thinking, so you can process the past and look forward to the future.
Coaching can be helpful whether you have only one issue or several; you may just need a few sessions or on a more regular, ongoing basis, depending on your needs. Sometimes asking for help can be the most hopeful and powerful step you can take to live a happier, healthier and fulfilled life.
If you have found this useful, then please share this with anyone you know who would also benefit to help them along their journey in life.
Thank you for joining me and I look forward to seeing you again next week for Pura Vida Your Life Happenings for insight, inspiration and more golden nuggets to help you live a happier and fulfilled life.
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